Ok, honestly, I didn't pay much to this project, and sincerely, I don't like it, at all! And boss, as a manager, has you ever thought what can make us devote ourselves to the work and what can prevent us from not doing it well? Money? just less than 800/m, a employee of my restaurant gets more than that! Things with graduation? sorry, I don't think I can't graduate if the project is failed, I don't either earn academic credit on it or write paper on it! And a good study chance? god, usi

But I have no time to enjoy it, just spent a night with a guilty feel on it. The tasks I got in real life are still pushing me continuously, so indulging myself in sim life is no doubt a waste of time.

I want to get some strength, I want to feel I'm not fighting alone.

This is the first real project to do, so many things to think, to try, to finish.

I'm looking forward to succuss, but never afraid of failure.

Let's see what shall happen~

The habits I want to have in the coming 4 weeks are:

work during the day

drink a cup of honey after waking up and before going to bed

drink 1.5L water each day

eat an apple before lunch

OK, write here in order to verify the result 4 weeks later

I have not written anything since I knew that my father sometimes come here, too. Everyone has various face to different people, and this place is for some of my friends and part of myself, so, there are inevitably something that I don't want to let my family know, especially my father, who just considers writing blog a waste of time.

So, maybe all the passage written later will be English, I hope my father won't be so curious to use dictionary to translate them~~

清理杂物的时候又翻出了以前的日记，基本上都是高中的，回忆了一下当时的心路历程。不过现在看当初的文笔和思维，还真是挺幼稚的，前段时间还觉得我弟弟都高中了怎么还跟小孩似的，现在想想自己也不是如此么~最后一篇竟是大一结束的时候写的，我都完全没印象了，看着那时的心态简直是圣人啊，理性的一塌糊涂。还有两篇高中时候计划写的长篇小说，都只写了几千字就停了，现在看文笔都还不错呵，当时怎么就没坚持呢。

敲了一些文字，但终于还是删去了，因为觉得我还没准备好，没有资格来说这些话。只是想告诉你们，我现在心态不错，今年会踏实做些事情，琐碎的事情就不说了。

本来我昨天晚上应该回宿舍后马上睡觉，今天去教工进行本学期最后一次晨练。结果没经住诱惑和宋扬打了一局dota，然后很失败的输了，不甘心的又打了几局，一直到一点才赢下第一把。而且在那局碰到一个操作意识极烂又毫不谦虚嚣张无比的队友，“修理他”，我们是这么想的也这么做了，于是又在他的对家来了一局。完虐过后已经将近凌晨三点，原来的计划便基本泡汤～～

今早起来，像是遭报应了，我那该死的腰又痛了，就像去年刚开始发作的那段时间一样。慌忙去校医院开了药，目前观望中。神啊，还有两门考试要复习，

去参加了表哥的婚礼，印象中参加过的婚礼有三次：上小学的时候姑姑的婚礼，那时还小，除了知道有好吃的，可以玩以外没有留下太多记忆；第二次是高中去上海参加表姐的婚礼，和表姐算不上熟，所以那次基本也就是去吃个饭而已；这一次婚礼么，居然当了伴郎，近距离的观察了一下～～

表哥已经二十九岁了，而且是姨夫唯一的儿子～姨夫在我老家县城那也算是有头有脸的人物。所以这次婚礼他特别的看重，特意搞了两部宝马两部奔驰来做婚车，酒席摆了四十多桌。也许这在杭州上海这些大城市来看微不足道，也许这种讲排场的做法在外

小学的时候我想以后成为数学家

初中的时候我想以后研究生物学

高中的时候我似乎一下找到了兴趣和前途的结合点，立志读计算机系，以后设计游戏~

如愿的进入了软件学院后我却又一度的迷惘了，想过做研究，想过做开发，想过转学金融，甚至想过去做老师～

然后稀里糊涂的保研了，保研的时候想先做点研究工作，可这半年来没点动静。确实和手头在做的工作比较没意思有关，但更多应该说自己吧，很多时间也莫名其妙的荒废了。

于是又彷徨～一度的以为找到了要做的，一度的又不知道了。

或许又

在学习拉丁三个月后正式决定开始“拉登双修”，学摩登的动机和目的就像一开始学拉丁一样的模糊而又单纯：恩，我想跳的很好舞会上可以show一下，我想塑造一下身形，我和小草说了要努力学好和她去表演，我想把空余时间填满以免浪费在灌水发呆打游戏上。还有，还有，给我点时间我还可以写出几个理由，但是我也说不出来什么是主要的，也许只是冥冥中的一种推动力量在左右我的选择。好像一直以来都是这样的，好像我一心认准而决绝的去做的事情终究都是没有发生或者走的很失败的，感觉就是被一只无形的手推着推着走过了那么