Again, watching those dazzling candles, hearing this shortly stupid birthday song and having this huge cake on which a card reads “wish ME a happy 2X birthday”, I can’t be too sad to find out that I have stepped up to another level, with, uniquely, a cold I caught the other day thanks to the sudden weather change in CD, which has made me hold my breath when blowing the candles for I don’t want my party guests to infect the cold.

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Getting old is not a cool thing, especially during my current life stage. Actually, there is some sort of graph that can show the happiness of people towards their birthdays during whole life span. First, before the kindergarten, we have no preference for the birthday party to any of the occasions where we are given cakes and sugars and toys; then the heyday of birthdays is coming, from the kindergarten to probably the senior high (for certain age-sensitive group maybe junior high) we enjoy noise and laughters from the crowds of friends and families in our B parties, and kinda hope everyday is our B parties; then we pack up for college when we suddenly realize that we are no longer children and we should take our part of responsibilities, which, what’s the worse, isn’t like what states in Spiderman “with great power comes great responsibilities” but rather “with older age comes more responsibilities”, hence we finally panic a little for we think we are not ready. After college, a lot of things should be done especially in China: cars, houses, marriage, babies…, and that’s when we really panic about the unpredictable future of our own under the pressure of too many responsibilities. Of course, after you hanging through those desperate period, B day looks good again, meaning your credentials and social status are lifting plus an enjoyment of more respect from the surroundings and when you are older enough, B day suggest you do good deeds all the time so God gives you longer life span than others to enjoy the life, which is, to some of us, a proud stuff to tell.

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While getting a cold is not cool thing, either, especially during my current life stage. Before this stage, mommies will take care of us. After the stage, our wife or hub, later son or daughter, or even grandchildren will take care of us, but now we are ourselves, which means we lick our own wounds when we are hurt. Is that a sign of coming of more responsibilities? If it is, then good for me! I just ran into two things at once that could make me miserable: birthday and cold….but what can I do is to fake my pure smile, hide my bleeding wounds, roll up my ragged sleeves and continue my bitter-sweet life.

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That seems to me the only option so far for I am old and cold.

I prefer to refer today as Zhong Qiu.

~

You guys should get used to crowning Chinese thing with an original Chinese name, otherwise the next time you would be surprised by the fact that most yellow heads know Jiaozi as Jiaozi, not some stupid “dumpling” we learnt in junior high, or tofu as tofu, not bean curd, or here what I’d like to call Zhong Qiu instead of middle autumn day or moon cake day (heeeello? Today is much more than the greasy dough!!!).    

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But I have to admit that thanks to those oily bastards, I successfully land on my scale with a stunning 7Xkg. I just cannot control my appetite, especially when those are in a unique flavor called Huotui that tastes just like bacon with sugar and oil, which I know is a perfect and powerful combination of high fat, high calories and high carbohydrates. Yet the 3 Highs have not intimidated me, at least not completely, although in my photo albums, there are tons of past me tortured and deformed by them. I don’t know, maybe these days around Zhong Qiu, I just don’t care about my infamous weight, for I know it’s the only chance of a year that you can have those 3 Highs in a pretty lovely pastry shaped like the moon. I just love astronomy, you know.

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But what I love more is something about the moon. I love the old legend I have been told since I was a little kid with wild thoughts. Chang E, that exquisitely beautiful young lady with a rabbit; Hou Yi, that probably handsome and surely brave shooter of suns; Wu Gang, that determined and strong ax man, all of those became the haunting mystery of my childhood, including the elixir that makes Chang E light and fly, either of which makes me dream for it; in my early years, it was the ability of fly that drives me crazy for the elixir, while it is now the ability of losing weight that does me. Growing, am I?

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Anyway, year after year, I dreamed of that elixir and have been given those 3 Highs in return. I wanna be light in my dream, but in reality I gain weight. A festival with a legendary elixir that can make people lose weight ends up being one when we become fatter and fatter. Isn’t that ironic enough?

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Yet Zhong Qiu keeps on, as it has many merits: we can enjoy family reunion; we can make moon cakes make us fat and we can also of course peer at the moon chewing the memory of our childhood: those legends, those characters, those lovely carefree experiences… just like the cake, High fat, High calories and High carbohydrate,’cause that’s exactly what life tastes, at least to me.

~

Behold I love Zhong Qiu though it fats me.

Two super huge rainfalls visit CD today with a burning sun as the interval. Poor babe…gang raped by earth, sun and rain…still becomes my date on this special day.

I am not mentioning the OGs though, to which I think I am not more than a witness plus a thorough passerby to those hideously show-off torch relays for I am not that kind of FFs whose zealousness can easily be brought up by all this speciosity, while the Valentine’s Day seems more attractive and seductive to me.

What has gone wrong, honey?

Have you loved someone else already?

Then who are they?

______________________________

Nothing went wrong, babe.

I am still loving you…

but you have outgrown my love for a long time…

you just don’t know…

______________________________

What?

No…I still wanna ask you out every double 7!

Touching you, kissing you,

confiding to you that I am feeling lonely yet not horny…

______________________________

……

I have been waiting for the answer from my city, a surprisingly tough incredibly wise and bizarrely beautiful young lady. I think I will keep waiting till the day she officially dumps me.

Darling, answer me…

……

……

Gosh, I am stuck… for good…

谨此悼念512地震中逝去的万千生命

一路走好

Seeing the text, I officially announce that I am keeping being haunted by what you once called “nice gestures”….Emails and phone calls are two big parts of these gestures, which I don’t care at all. If you want me to be happy then just leave me alone. OK? Dank u!

Every time I receive such nice gestures, those stuff would remind me of something I don’t want myself to relive in. Dude, it’s quite clear the days are gone when the words “crisis” or “IND” drove me crazy, and when I was so lost that I needed some guidance. I am good here, so plz wrap up your nice gestures and wild conjectures, it’s a clear NO between us…. WAKE UP BUDDY!

I have to admit that you helped me a lot getting through all the mess that otherwise would lead to a horrible consequence, and IK DANK U HARTELIJK! But I think we are even right now given all the things I have done and I have been doing for you. You know what, we could have been good buddies but for those weird experience. Anyway I still wanna thank you and use the text you sent me to wish you good days. And now I give you the answer to the question in your letter, it’s NEE SORRY IK KAN NIET, VOOR ALTIJD.