being thankful, introspective, nostalgic, proceeding.

all is not enough.

dusky humid chilly morning. spitting rain in gray sky.

im sitting here with a blank mind. i wanna do nothing, i wanna say nothing. time stays, you see how weird a face it has.

i browsed through your old pictures, my dear friends. your eyes spark, your skin clots, your smiles become dim.

my body ruined? probably in a way. so easy to catch sickness, insomnious in nights, sleep more than 36h on weekends, mix all sorts pills to swallow, fingertips shiver, powerless on physical, helpless on mental.

listen to me nomore. i will be dumb and you will be deaf, we will be a massive match due to this.

just screwed up. whats the big deal? dying winter...

this way is too long, did you ever see an answer? did you ever feel an end?

full speed on the highway at the cold rainy night. sky was crimson, star was hiding, and we were nothing.

i know you getting tired with this heavy load, a drip of tear doesnt mean pains, a masquerade of smiling doesnt mean ecstasy. but hugs mean cares, but kisses mean passions, but impulsive pushes mean kinda existence...

im the alcoholic, chocoholic also candle doll which they have told. will go to either paradise or inferno, will be neither fairy nor dumb nut.

so long, my nov. 2009. i gonna fuck you next year. but this second, let me slumber away in your arms, as a new born baby swims without trains, as a scuba without the diving mask...

if i miss you, would you know it?

-------------------------- gorgeous div line --------------------------

dont cry, cos the Almighty God will forgive all of our errors and crimes. God forgive humans. God listening confessions...

ditto.

i miss a night to dress up to pop a party.

i miss a time to make up to run for a date.

i miss a satisfaction from a touch of love.

i miss a feel of being spoiled.

i miss a jiff when drowning in that crush.

if i disappeared, will you seek me around the world?

if i died, will you shed a tear?

is there any person who really noticed my existence?

are you paining when im gone?

... ...

shutting my mouth is the terminal solution of all of these.

from now on nothing will be important.